You know, I wasn't going to watch it any way, but that lot has given me more reason not to...

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Warriors, come out to play!

I was trying to pick my fav out of those, but I like them all !!! Ok these need repeating....

"Stone doesn't so much enter and leave the film of her own volition so much as she's carted on and off like Hannibal Lecter, the difference being that she'd rather sit on your face than bite it off."
Ed Gonzalez, Slant Magazine

"Even the ice pick looks like it really doesn't want to be there."

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Much as I enjoy reading stuff like that, the elitist, smug, superior, sneering and condisending attitude of some of these 'critics' makes me want to tapdance on their windpipes!

These people (...who have no actual acting talent of their own..have never attempted to act in, direct or write any film of their own..)make me sick with the way thet can shoot down in flames the work of an actress (or actor).

What actual qualifications (apart from an overflowing cup of bitchy spitefulness and a deep deep desire to make themselves look clever) gives them the right to slag off and dismiss the work of people in a review that maybe took 15 minutes to write about a film that may have taken six months or more to make?

Now don't get me wrong I'm not trying to drum up support for Shazza and Basic Instinct 2 but sneering, bitchy critics piss me off

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Their spouting off doesn't bother me much, but I see your point Charlie.

If it is a film I really want to see, I never pay any attention to what the critics say anyway, and sometimes reviews like this will peak my interest even more, because then I will want to see for myself what all the fuss was about.

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Simple - because people enjoy reading what they write. I'd much rather have some critics sift the wheat from the cinematic chaff and tell me about it, then spend eight dollars and an evening seeing a pathetic film that's not worth it.

And who needs qualifications? Anybody can spout off their opinion about a movie (God knows we do it enough around here), but that doesn't mean anyone has to listen to them. If they're level-headed, a good judge of filmmaking, and a talented writer, they'll get success; if they're an idiot, they won't. If there's any job in the world that relies solely on their work product, it's that of a film critic.

hahahahahaha thats great

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I see what you'r saying Charlie and I do agree on the one sentence reviews {although they are funny}...

But then again, all movie reviews you read/see on telly are just the opinion of the reviewer...
To mis-quote Tarantino, if the critique doesn't like slapstick, it doesnt matter if the movie is the best slapstick since the general, it won't get a fair review 'cause the reviewer doesn't like slapstick.

And I'd also like to say that I'm not drumming up support for Sharon Stone... Pesonally can't stand just about anything she's in.

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Warriors, come out to play!

Yeah I agree...I've read write ups on genre films that the reviewer obviously isn't a fan of and it shows in the review.
If someone isn't a fan of , say, vampire flicks then don't send them to review one as they are going to shoot it down in flames because they think the concept of vampires is 'silly'.
There's a (female)reviewer in Metro who obviously doesn't like horror or war or violent films and always pans them but will give five stars to some chick flick.

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And here I thought that maybe just your hemorrhoids were acting up.


(And I do agree with Charlie.)